I’m so pissed at myself right now. 

I dropped this one ensemble because it was annoying me and I didn’t really have time for it. 

And I have this small crush on this one guy who’s in this ensemble. 

I haven’t really talked to him all semester. 

Mostly because I was dating someone and didn’t want to talk about it with him 

But now I’m single and I still don’t know what to say. 

I’m just kicking myself because we don’t have any classes together now. 

I wouldn’t care about this stupid ensemble at all, except for the fact that he’s in it. 

And now I hate myself. 

He probably never thinks of me at all except for the occasional, “huh, I wonder why she never even makes eye contact with me anymore…” 

I don’t even know. 

…I can’t even look at him. I’m 26 years old and I still can’t even look at a guy I have a mild crush on. 

I’ll just be over here alone. With my cat.